The Mpreg Fairy
by Pame24
Summary: My first crossover crackfic, hope you like it. Rated T for slight swearing. Fandoms used: Ed, Edd n Eddy, Teen Titans & TMNT


A/N: Crackfics aren't exactly my cup of tea, but I wanted to write this; hope you guys enjoy it.

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The moon had just reached its peak when a lone and oddly dressed fairy with black wings, neon green dress with black sparkles, three studded belts hanging loosely on her waist, her short hair looking like a kaleidoscope, and a crooked wand appeared, casting her shadow over an empty warehouse in the middle of nowhere. She looked down at the rickety building and smiled like a maniac when a large cloud of green puffed and dispersed around, and exiting through the available windows and doors.

"They are here!" She said in a singsong voice before swooping down and entering the building through a broken window.

Once inside she saw with glee four pairings from various fandoms she liked strapped down to comfy beanbags, each other and the floor by titanium chains, magically infused just in case one of them pulled a "Hulk", because really you never knew what fans might turn the characters into these days.

She noted the Uke's were looking around confused, while the Seme's were pissed and confused. Her magic had obviously pulled them away from something important, at least that was the case for some of them who were either half dressed or with weapons drawn. _Hmm, can't have that now can we_ , she thought puffing the weapons away and also resolving whatever issue they were fighting for just in case it was life threatening. As for the half naked ones, well they could get back to their actives once she was done.

She flew to the stage that she magically made appear before them, landing heavily on her studded combat boots; if they hadn't notice her then, they notice her now. All eyes turned to her and she waved her wand to make a spotlight shine on her and a mike to materialize into existence.

She cleared her throat. "Good evening gentlemen, I am Melody Prego, and I had brought you here today to give you something very special" she said in a sweet voice that didn't sit well with any of the ones present. It just didn't seem to match with what she was wearing.

"Is that why you pulled us away from our homes and jobs?!" An outraged Robin asked.

"Yep!" She said unaffected by the harshness of his words. "But don't worry, whatever stuff you were dealing with I took care of it, your friends are probably at the pizza parlor, or looking for you" she shrugged.

"You mean to tell us that you took care of the villains attacking my city from here?" Robin inquires disbelieving.

"And from ours?" Leo added.

"As if bro, this crazy fairy probably just saying that to not worry us" Beast Boy said, not at all bothered by the giant, talking, turtle sitting a few beanbags away, how could he when he was a million creatures in one.

"If you are so worried I could show you" Melody said and made two oval mirrors poof into the room that had views of Jump City and New York, both were fine and even the debris from the fight had been clear off.

"Well I'll be damned, she was right" Donnie said. "How did you do that without knowing what was going on?"

"I just sent the baddies to jail. After giving you guys a quick once over to guess what you were up against, of course. Can't really put a ten foot tall mutant in a jail house now can I?" She giggled, which also seemed out of place for her appearance. She then turned to the couple that so far hadn't said a word, probably too shell-shocked at the sight of two superheroes and four mutant turtles. I would be too to be honest. "Kevin, Edd, I'm so sorry for interrupting your night, especially since it's so rare for you two to get any privacy, but I promise you that this will be worth your while"

Kevin grumbled. "It better, I was just about to-"

"KEVIN!" Edd chastised blushing cutely. "I am sorry, but you could just tell us what is that you want with us, and why in the world are we chained up?"

Melody actually looked a bit sheepish. She scratched the back of her neck and chuckled nervously. "Um, to make sure you don't escape"

"And why would we?" Raphael asked.

"Because what I was asked to do isn't something any male would go through willingly"

"Huh?" Mikey asked. "The shell you talking about fairy? Who told you to capture us?"

"My boss, can't tell you who she is though, it's confidential. But I assure you that what will be done do you will be painless" _I hope_. She decided to leave out, because really it wouldn't do her well to tell trained ninjas, two superheroes, a short tempered jock and a seemingly mild mannered nerd—the quiet ones are always the most dangerous— that there was a chance their significant other would be in pain. She wasn't suicidal, magic or not. Not to mention her boss would clip her wings off if she did anything to her favorite pairings.

"And what exactly is that you'll do to us?" Robin brought her out of her musings.

"Well, not all of you, just the Ukes of the relationship. Unless you want it too, I doubt she'll mind" she shrugged.

"And that is?" Raph asked getting impatient with the crazy fairy. Who could blame him though? She was being so vague and her beating around the bush was pissing the hell out of him. If only he wasn't chained up. He felt a hand on his and looked sideways to see Leo giving a reassuring look, as if saying that the torture would be over soon.

"Yes, well. It's quite simple really, I had been asked to give you the ability to carry young like females" she said like it was the most normal thing in the world. Sadly for her our couples didn't exactly agree.

"Are you mad?!"

"The fuck?!"

"Bitch is you crazy!"

"That's impossible!"

"WHAT?!"

Melody raised her hand to quiet them down, but they kept on talking. They were obviously outraged, which was completely understandable. I mean they are male, and pregnancy is impossible for them, unless written by a crazy fan with too much imagination and time on their hands, but they don't need to know that.

The men kept voicing their concerns and opinions amongst themselves, completely ignoring the fairy that was slowly starting to lose her patience. She took a deep breath and took the mike in hand.

"Would please just SHUT UP!" She screamed, finally giving them the image they thought suite her best. "Now listen up, this is completely optional, we will not force you to go through with it if you don't want to, but all I ask is that you think about it. Look at your partner and think, if this is the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with" even if they if it's only by the will of the writers. "Wouldn't you like to have a family with them?"

The couples all did as told, they looked into each others' eye and dreamt. They wondered what it would be like to have a family together, not have to resort to adoption even if that wouldn't be so bad, but not everyone could do it and certainly not four mutant turtles, regardless of the writers will. Anyway, while looking lovingly into each others' eyes they could see that wonderful future, see that there would be hardships that they would face but if they did it together they would strive and give their child the a wonderful life and loving family. Yeah, they could do it. _Sneaky writer, of course they can as long as_ you _write it_ , Melody thought as she looked at the loving gazes they shared, the determination and mutual agreement in their eyes.

Kevin turned to the fairy. "We're game, but only if you make sure that nothing happens to my dork, or I'll pound ya, got it Tinkerbell"

"Puh-lease, she wishes she was this fabulous" Melody said with a smug look. "But sure, I will make sure nothing happens to him, assuming he wants to be the one to carry, it could always be you, you know?"

A horrified look came over the jock and he looked back at Edd who was trying really hard not to laugh. "Double D?" He asked in a small voice.

"You shouldn't worry your pretty little head Pumpkin, cause there's a 95% chance that he'll always be the Uke in your relationship" _unless the fans anything to say about it_ , she decided to leave out. They did not need to know what went on outside of their dimension.

"Only 95%?"

"Yes, since you could always switch it up" Melody shrugged. "Anyway, is that a yes on for you, 'cause I'm itching to use this spell on you two"

"Yeah, as long as it's not painful"

"He'll feel a bit of pain, I am twisting his organs around to accommodate new ones so yeah"

Kevin was about to protest, but Edd's reassuring touch calmed him down. He sighed and nodded. Edd turned to the fairy and closed his eyes.

"I'm ready" he said.

Melody squeaked. "Alright!"

She raised her wand and chanted the spell, which will not be written down seeing as rhyming isn't the writer's forte. Pointing the wand in the little nerd's direction, she shot the pinkish ball of light and life at him. Those around held their breath as they saw the light entering the lithe body, and gasped when the poor boy winced and doubled over in pain. Edd could feel his innards twisting around and rearranging, making space for the new organs. Luckily, the pain was short lived and aside for labored breathing he was fine. He took a deep breath and looked up at the fairy who was smiling in relief at seeing he was still alive and kicking. She wasn't aware the spell would be that potent, short as it was.

"How are you feeling?" Kevin asked.

"Surprisingly, well. Yes, it was a bit painful, but it didn't last long and the new parts don't feel unnatural, or like added weight"

Melody let out a relieve breath. "Oh thank god, I didn't want to hurt you, any of you, I love you too much" that brought a smile and blush to their faces.

"Good, because I don't know what I would've done to you if had actually hurt him" Kevin said warningly.

"Relax sweetie, my boss would never intentionally hurt any of you" she smiled and then turned to the rest. "So, who's next?"

"Oh, oh, me!" Mikey raised his hand.

"Are you sure Mikey? Because I could always do it" Donnie said.

"Babe, it would be fine, besides with your mess up schedule would do the baby no good"

"I can always change that you know" Donnie protested. "Besides, if you do this, you can't always have pizza for every meal"

"Eh, why not?!"

Melody sighed at the turtles bickering, it was cute, but she wanted to move things along, there were more couples to change. "How about I give it to you both, since you like to switch things up, it would be fun" she smirked at their blushing faces.

"What do you think Don?"

"I don't see why not" Donnie smiled. "Bring it on Melody"

She giggled like a maniac and raised her wand, a bigger pink ball shinning at the end. "A two for one coming right up"

She shot at the pair and watched with gleeful eyes as the pink like entered them both and made them go through the same change as Eddward who was touching his belly in amazement.

Leo and Raph watched with worried eyes as they saw their younger siblings doubling in pain and groaning. They wished to comfort them and tell them everything would be fine. But as soon as they had though that the pain was gone and Michelangelo and Donatello were panting; it was finally over.

"How are you guys feeling?" Raph asked, both elders looking at them with concern.

"We're fine. It was uncomfortable, but were ok, right Mike?"

"Yeah dude, totally fine" Mikey smiled.

Melody laughed. "Awesome! Don't forget to use a condom now, wouldn't want to get prego so soon, right" she smirked as both pairs blushed furiously. "Who's next?"

"We are" Leo said. "I-I'll be the one to…you know"

 _He's so cute_ , both Melody and Raph thought as they looked at the courageous leader.

"Sure thing cutie" she said, earning a growl from a jealous Raphael.

She chuckled and raised her wand once more, sending the ball his way. Just like before Leo double over in pain, groaning and moaning in discomfort. Raph grabbed his hand comfortingly and winced slightly when Leo squeezed it hard. After full minute Leo calmed down, his breathing was labored but he was fine. He sighed in relief as did his mate.

"You ok?"

Leo nodded.

"Good" he reached out and kissed his temple in a sweet show of affection they had the room aww-ing at it.

Melody then turned to the remaining couple. "Ready to join the club, guys?"

Robin turned to BB, masked eyes looking at him questioningly. Don't ask how, but Beast Boy could tell.

"I'll do it" Beast Boy said.

"Excellent!" She smiled and got ready, however when she was about to shoot, her wand decided to short circuit. "Huh, what the fuck?"

"What's wrong?" Beast Boy asked; his ears downcast.

"Hmm, I dunno. Let me check something" she raised her wand and casted a different spell.

A purple ball of light glowed brightly at the tip and shot out towards the young hero. Instead of going into his body, it floated around him before engulfing him completely. Melody watched with interest as did the others in the room.

"What is that thing doing to Beast Boy?" Robin asked.

"Scanning him, the fertility spell isn't working on him, so I have to find out why" she said, hand on her hip as she waited for the scan to be complete. After about three minutes of silence, the light receded and went back to the wand, changing from purple to pink.

"Well I be a damned, I don't need to do anything to you, it seems your body can do it all by itself"

"Say what?!" Beast boy asked.

"Yep, have you ever been in heat BB?"

A blush came over his features, but he nodded. "Was this before or after Robin and you started dating?"

"A-after"

"And were you with him when it happened?"

He shook his head furiously.

"Was that the time you locked yourself away?" Robin asked curious.

Beast boy nodded. "It was embarrassing"

"Well there you have it Boy Wonder, your boyfriend is a natural breeder. He doesn't need my magic to make it happen, but he does need to be in heat for it, so keep that in mind" she winked at the heroes and then turned to look at all of them.

They pairs looked excited about their new ability; already making plans for when they decided to start a family. It made Melody smile and also a bit sad. They had to forget it even happened, because in the words of her boss: "where's the fun in that".

"Ok guys, it's been a pleasure to meet you all and to help move your beautiful relationships along. Now it's time to send you home" she raised her wand.

"Wait!" Edd stopped her. "How would be know what to do when we decide to have children?"

That was a valid question and she had just the answer for it. "Oh don't worry about it, when the time comes there will be someone there to help you and guide you" she smiled. "Oh and just a word of advice for you guys: if your Uke gets aggressive during the birth, don't take it to heart ok? They still love you"

The Semes nodded, slightly confused by her words.

"All righty then, let's get you home!" She raised her wand again. "Oh, oh, wait a second"

She fished through the pocket that suddenly appeared on her puffy green dress and pulled out a cylinder shaped thingy and pointed it at them. "Just gotta take a picture of you guys, who knows when this'll happened again"

She puffed away the chains. "Ok boys, smile"

The guys did as asked, some more reluctant than others and smiled at the camera. She got in shot, making sure not to obscure anyone and hit the shooter. The room was engulfed in a white light that left them seeing spots and dizzy. Melody quickly righted herself and waved her wand, casting a quick spell on the heroes and then chanting the one that would poof them away, sending them to their respective towns. Never to remember what transpire here.

Once they were gone Melody took out her phone and she dialed her boss' number.

"All done boss, now it's your turn"

"Awesome, now all that's left is to kick Writer's blocks ass and get to work!"

"Yep, let just hope that it won't take a year like with that story you were requested to write on your birthday"

An awkward laugh was heard over the line. "I'll try not to, and hopefully I'll write that along the way too"

"You better" Melody muttered.

"Quiet you or I'll clip your wings off!"

"No, not my wings" the fairy cried.

"Then shut your trap" a sigh was heard. "Come back to the base, I need you to do some research"

"Oh my way boss" Melody sighed and hung up the phone.

 _Great, more work to do, and here I thought I would finally get some rest_ , Melody thought as she poof everything away and headed to base where she would get back at her boss by keeping her up at night with all the new ideas for stories.

"I guess that's not so bad" she smirked, flying into the sunrise.

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And there you have it guys, hopefully you've enjoyed my first crack/crossover fic. Maybe you'll be seeing more of this or something related to it in the near future. (^_^)/)


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